You're probably wondering what you're doing here. And so am I, but I hope you will stay and read my brand new attempt to close the gap between my day job and my dream job.
You may ask yourself why the title of the blog is Ernie is the Favorite and not Erin. And now I'm wondering why I'm even suggesting you are asking yourself questions when really you are just trying to read. Allow me to explain. No, I am not becoming a man. Swarthy I may look; bawdy I may talk; manly I am not. Thus, who is Ernie?
Let us begin with facts that you may know already and that I have found out in life in our quest for Ernie.
1. People no longer sound out words...they may glance at a word, lie to themselves that they know the word, and then say the absolute not word the word is.
2. These people tend to work jobs with some security, nary a worry that their inability to read and capability to self-perjure about said reading skill will cost them anything more than well-deserved embarrassment and shame on humanity.
3. Said people tend to be mere daily workers but handle necessary and important things required for other people to gain access to more necessary and important things, and they serve as a sort of impossible to operate baby gate to any sort of productivity and soul-killing reminder of the current state of reading through sounding-it-out skills in our country.
Enter me. Once upon a happier, less adult time in which I had much much much much less student loan debt - kinda like when you look at old pictures and think you wish you were just that fat again and not the new fat you are, Well, I worked as an independent contractor in downtown Traplanta (good luck getting home in the afternoon in THAT place). I was in college or just out, my sound-it-out reading skills well-in-place and intact (that's a lot of hyphens), and I was reporting to a high-stress showroom for a 7-day trade show (where I learned the pettiness of showroom sales reps and that alcohol can, in fact, be evil).
I waited in line for what felt like an eon - I'm pretty sure I still have the gray hair it created - and finally made it to the counter. The lady told me I could grab my badge at the print station. This I knew, I was not new to the trade show, but new to the showroom. So I stand and wait...and wait...and wait...not until 10 minutes pass do I realize that one of the names being called out could possibly be mine...
For 10 straight minutes...Erneh! Erneh! another name... then Erneh!
I walk up to the desk, freshly enlightened, "I think that's mine." She hands me the badge, fussy that I had been standing there and hadn't claimed it - well her face said that anyway, but that coulda just been her face. "You mean ERIN?" Crickets. Moves on to the next four letter name and person with hope in humanity to butcher.
From that time, I've never looked at ER-IN the same. Does Bert actually live with an Erin and not an Ernie? Is it actually Ernie Go Bragh? Where is the truth? In the interests of remembering great stories and spinning better yarns, the blog needed a name that would represent my goal. I want to be your favorite through humorous thoughts or stories. Here's to bringing you more. Of me.
